


Make Hermione a Tomato

by AliasGlasses



Series: TikTok AUs No One Asked For [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Discord: Bellamione Cult, F/F, Tiktok shit again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:00:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26863276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AliasGlasses/pseuds/AliasGlasses
Summary: Bellatrix is just being a little shit and Hermione is a convenient target.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Bellatrix Black Lestrange
Series: TikTok AUs No One Asked For [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1918105
Kudos: 125





	Make Hermione a Tomato

**Author's Note:**

> Little mention of TikTok actually but there's still some so this goes in the series.

You’d think that when Hermione Granger gets a day off, it would be spent being all domestic and shit. Well, you would be right except she has Bellatrix Black as her fiance. When you’re tied to the eldest Black in any shape, way, or form, you best expect that your life is just going to be chock full of shenanigans and chaos. Add muggle technology to that and you are in for a hell of a life. A simple trip to the store could result in Hermione blushing throughout the errand at best or the pair getting banned at worst. Such was the gamble at this very moment as they went to a nearby coffee shop to get some pastries the younger witch wanted.

The pair sat outside, both nursing warm mugs filled with their favored coffee. Bellatrix was casually scrolling through her phone, which was a shocking sight to those that knew of her. The war was long over and the dark witch had been through hell and back to prove that she had changed, that she was a better person. All with the help and because of Hermione. There were still people who couldn’t see that but that was fine with the elder witch. She knew you can’t please everyone no matter what you do so as long as they didn’t do anything stupid to her loved ones, no curses will fly.

“Bella? Are you alright? You look like you tasted something sour.” Hermione’s voice interrupted Bellatrix’s thoughts. The dark witch blinked and focused on her young lover. Bellatrix had a perfect answer at the tip of her tongue so she secretly opened TikTok and started recording.

“I am fine, little lion. Although, if you’d let me taste you, I’ll be better.” Hermione’s eyes widened and she slapped the elder witch’s arm.

“Bellatrix!” The younger admonished as she looked around if anyone else had heard, cheeks aflame. Bellatrix just cackled and ended the recording, posting it once she reviewed the whole thing.

“Are you seriously posting that on TikTok, you bloody git?” Even if Herimone’s tone was reprimanding, her eyes were full of mirth and love for the dark witch.

“You love me anyways.” Came Bellatrix’s cheeky reply and Hermione narrowed her eyes playfully.

“Oh I don’t know. Do I?” Nails scraping against her exposed thigh made the younger witch take it back.

\---

“Hey, angel.” Hermione immediately looked up from making breakfast when she heard Bellatrix call her that particular pet name. Sure enough, the dark witch was recording on her phone.

“What is it, sweetie?” The younger witch warily asked and watched her fiance.

“I like you like I like my coffee.” Hermione’s suspicions were lessened and she raised an eyebrow at the older witch.

“Extra sweet?” 

“Constantly inside me.” Hermione sputtered and just turned around to resume making breakfast .

\---

_ ‘There’s no way Bellatrix could dish out a line at a family dinner.’  _ Hermione thought as they arrived at her parent’s home through Floo. This was where the universe would also tell her 'nah girl. You thought wrong.'

"Hermione, it's been too long." Helen Granger greeted her only daughter with a kiss on the cheek. Hermione smiled as she returned the gesture. 

"I just visited you guys last week." The young witch chuckled. Richard Granger tsked as he wrapped her in a bear hug. 

"Last week was too long ago, little Doodlebug." Hermione groaned at the mention of her childhood nickname.

"Papa, you know Bella's going to use that against me now, don't you?" 

" _ Whatever _ could you mean, honey?" Even to Hermione's parents, Bellatrix's faux innocent tone was obvious.

"Bellatrix, behave. No teasing our daughter until we're inside the house." Richard laughed as he ushered the pair inside. It prompted a mirth filled cackle from the dark witch. Hermione just sighed in resignation as they headed for the dining room and she and Bellatrix took a seat as Helen put the finished dishes on the table.

“Mom, why did I move out again?” Hermione asked when the quartet finally ate. Bellatrix smirked at the opportunity to make her fiance as red as a tomato. It was too easy.

“Hun, do you want your parents hearing what we get up to at certain times?” The statement was delivered so fucking casually that the Grangers took a second to process it. Helen and Richard were stunned silent as their daughter turned to a deep shade of red.

“Bellatrix Black!” Hermione hissed lowly to the laughing witch, slapping her leg in admonishment.

“You make it so easy, little lion.” Bellatrix just grinned at Hermione who was struggling to contain her mortification.

“I mean… Bella’s right, Doodlebug. We  _ don’t _ want to hear what you two get up to.”

“Papa!” Hermione whined and looked to her mother for help. The older Granger just shrugged.

“Your papa is right, Hermione. Sorry.” Hermione buried her face in her hands. What did she do to deserve this? Other than being easy to tease, nothing at all.

Dinner was winding down and Bellatrix and Hermione were doing the dishes, well, Hermione was. Bellatrix just dried them. The younger witch was happy that the visit was almost over and the older witch had not made one of those embarrassing pick up lines. Apart from that statement earlier, it was all peachy.

“Mama, I’m done with the dishes. Is there anything else you want me to do?” Hermione asked Helen when she stepped into the living room, unaware of the danger following her, phone bared and all.

“I want you to do me, honey.” Bellatrix’s voice sounded from behind the unsuspecting lion, making her whirl around, red to the tips of her ears. Helen coughed out a laugh from her place on the couch.

“Bella, why?” Came the strangled question.

“Cause I love you, little lion.” Bellatrix blew a kiss to Hermione and posted the video.

\---

“Pookie, for the love of Merlin, no more lines please.” Hermione grumbled as she hugged Bellatrix from behind as the older witch organized the books scattered in their home’s modest library. Only Hermione could love books as she did but keep them disorganized at their own home.

“Hmm. How about no?” Bellatrix teased as she continued arranging the books. A kiss to her neck halted the organizing.

“Even if I promise to do that thing you like later, darling?” When Hermione used that particular pet name coupled with a drop in her tone, Bellatrix could rarely resist.

“I’ll think about it.” The dark witch turned and tried to kiss the younger witch but all she met was air because Hermione had already moved away.

“Good, because we’re going out with Harry and the rest.”

The snake’s eye twitched as she watched her lion saunter away.

\---

“So what did you do to get my aunt out of the nest?” Draco chuckled as Hermione and Bellatrix slid into the booth of a more upscale muggle bar.

“Something involving her mouth, dear nephew.” Bellatrix grinned deviously as she watched Draco’s face contort in horror and disgust and Hermione turn a lovely shade of red. Harry, Ginny, Neville, and Luna all laughed at the expense of their friends.

“She convinced me. Get your head out of the gutter, Draco.”

“I’m going to go order our drinks now.” Draco mumbled as he basically dashed out of the booth.

“Way to light a fire under his ass, Black.” Ginny grinned at Bellatrix, who just sat looking proud and smug.

“Bella, would you behave for a second?” Hermione huffed and pouted. Harry chuckled and patted his friend’s shoulder.

“Oh, I don’t know ‘Mione. It’s fun seeing you blushing.” The bespectacled man teased. A punch to the arm with a mumbled “sod off” was the response he got. At this point, Draco returned with a tray of various drinks. Everyone took their choices and raised their drinks to toast to all the good things happening in their lives right now.

“Hey honey?” Hermione turned to look at Bellatrix in curiosity.

“My ears are cold. Can I use your thighs as my earmuffs?” Bellatrix was wearing a shit eating grin as she delivered the line. Draco choked on his drink as the rest just laughed loudly.

“You’re a fucking pain in my ass, Black.” Hermione groaned.

“I mean… We can just add more lube.” At this point, Draco had his head buried in his arms and Harry and the rest were just dying of laughter.


End file.
